Today I realized something I wish I had sooner, the movies are a fucking fun place to be on a Thursday afternoon. Seriously ya'll, catching a movie in the middle of the workday gives you the same feeling as skipping math class did in the 12th grade. Trust me on this.
With my boyfriend being out of the country and a day with no homework or work work, I took the opportunity to go watch Dunkirk while it was still in theaters. Quick synopsis of how I felt about it: Tom Hardy could get it, at first I was a bit lost but then it got clearer, it was shot beautifully, and so far it's the best movie I've seen in 2017. And I watch a ton of movies.
My decision to go watch a movie alone reminded me of how it felt to be single a year ago, back when my life was lived selfishly and a large pizza lasted me more than an hour. As I walked towards the bus stop I made a mental note to remind myself to write about why I think every woman needs to take herself to a movie every once in a while. Even if it's not on a weekday afternoon, it's definitely a task we should all pencil into our schedules a few times a year. Here's why.
Even though I don't specialize in couples counseling I find myself talking about romantic relationships a lot with my clients. It makes sense though, relationships are something most of us strive to achieve and maintain most of our lives, whether it's our first boyfriend or lifelong partner.
Because the majority of my clients are females, a lot of them struggle on how to find a partner they can thrive with and how to stay in control of that part in themselves that allows them to feel whole once the relationship ends. It's hard to word but we all know what it means, that thing that makes you feel okay when a relationship ends, even if we sometimes feel like we may have lost it.
As someone who has dated a variety of people in my life, I know the struggle in blending two lives while making sure I remain authentic to myself. It's the relationships where I let go of who I truly was and what I wanted that left me feeling angry and depressed at the end of the day, and sometimes alone at the end of the relationship. Remaining authentic means so many things depending on what stage of a relationship you are in, whether that be looking for someone to share your life with or figuring out how to do so in the long term.
Below is the advice I give to clients, and whether you're 15 or 45, I think it can ring true no matter your age or situation.
MAKE YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION THE REAL ONE
So many times I hear people telling others to make the best first impression possible, and while that is good advice, when it comes to dating I think people hear to show characteristics that they may not realistically have. For example, if you're a loud and outgoing person, you might approach someone new by toning yourself done and letting them lead the conversation. While this isn't necessarily bad, how long can you honestly keep this up for?
As long as you're being the respectful side of yourself, don't be afraid to be real when you meet someone. The benefits of this is that the person you meet know the authentic you from day one, meaning there's no awkward moment later when they find out you like cheesy Lifetime movies and can talk about space theories for hours. Don't push aside the things that make you who you are, because if it's the right person, they'll embrace those quirks from day one.
I woke up Tuesday morning in complete agony. Instead of my cats waking me up or the sound of construction across the street, I woke up due to intensity of soreness in my legs. You guys, day 1 of being less of a coach potato is kicking my ass.
If you read my last post, you might know that I'm trying to develop healthier habits all around. One of my goals is to be more physically active, which I totally crushed on day 1, but now I'm thinking maybe I went too hard too soon. Not even exaggerating, it hurts to lay in bed.
Since my plan to bike this morning is out the window, unless I wanna end up crying on the side of the road, I decided to make use of the morning sunshine by treating my cat to a walk on the balcony. I know what you're thinking, huh?
Here's the thing, my boyfriend's condo has a balcony which my cat is obsessed with. After a lot of Googling I decided it's way to dangerous to let Max walk out there on his own, so I've decided to let him walk around on the balcony with a harness. No more than 5 minutes into our first "walk" and he was literally rolling on the ground in joy.
As I sat on the hard ground in pain, I realized just how great a life my cat has. A few weeks ago I was breaking down regularly because of all the medical problems he was saving, but thankfully they managed to go away and we've made some lifestyle changes to prevent their return.
Having a pet seriously makes you notice little things, like birds chirping and just how much black you actually own. Okay, maybe that's just having a cat realizations.
Since apparently Max practices self care each morning by rolling on the patio until he's covered in pollen, I thought I'd recommend some simple ways to practice self care in less time than it takes to convince your cat that a harness is not out to kill them.
Do you ever wake up after a hard night and realize you still have leftovers? That same feeling can be recreated when you pack yourself some snacks for later in the day. The task takes no more than a minute and will boost your mood instantly later.
Listen to some comedy
Spotify is my go to place for stand up comedy, otherwise Netflix is a great option too. As I get ready for the day I always try to listen to something, the more positive the better. If you don't use Spotify, Youtube is a great option to listen to both stand up and late night comedy.
Put on a faves playlist
Comedy not your thing? Try making a playlist of morning only songs, meaning songs you won't play on repeat all day. This way when you listen to your playlist you won't feel the temptation to hit skip.
Make your bed
As a person who never makes my bed, I can admit that when I do I feel so much better about myself overall. Such a small task makes me feel like I've done so much already, which is why it's such a simple self care practice. Plus, slipping into a made bed is one of the best feelings.
Change your phone background
A few months ago I was one of those people who never changed my phone background, but a quote I found on Pinterest made that all change. Now, once a week I'll browse Pinterest for cute images or quotes that will boost my mood and energy whenever I grab my phone. My favorites come from my body positivity board, but otherwise my quotes for twenty somethings is a no fail location to find a new phone background.
What small tasks do you do to boost your mood? Share a self care practice in the comments below.
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