How Chasing Your Dreams Affects Your Friendships

Although I don't write much on the topic of friendships, making and maintaining friendships is a topic that is almost always on my mind, agenda, and to do list. Why, you may ask? Well, I left everything and everyone I knew to live, work and study in Washington DC. Meaning that one decision meant I was in a new place with absolutely no friends to call on.

I've written about my story a bazillion times on here, so I today I quickly want to share one that was told to me recently.

Relates Posts: My Life After 1 Year in a New City, 2 Years in a New City Follow Up

If you've ever noticed, I have a contact button on the top of my menu bar. On that page you will find a photo of my adorable cat, Max, and my personal email address. Yep, the very one that Papa Johns sends my order confirmation emails to. I have that there for two reason. 1) Hell yes I want to work with companies, but mostly 2) I want to connect with all of you. Meaning if you have a question, email me. If you need advice, email me! If you read something and it made no sense and you wanna get a better explanation, email me!

And that's exactly what someone did. She read a few posts of mine, connected in her own way, and took the chance to email me for more advice. What exactly did she need advice on? Only the thing that many of us at some point in time will relate to.

How to make real fucking friends in a new city! Yep. She too had graduated college, move to DC (actually Maryland because DC is expensive as hell) and felt like she was spending way too many nights at home by herself. And no, this is not me speaking to me in an alternate reality.

She wanted to know how to make friends, especially when meeting new people is hard and first impressions are hard to make in a city where everyone likes to brag about their job.

Because I don't want to release the email I sent her plus this topic is something I know so many people out there are dealing with, I'm writing a post about three ways to meet new people that will lead to you making actual friends, not just people you swap numbers with and never contact again.

If you're like me and sitting at home wondering why you never have anyone to go out with, here's what I wish someone had told me.

One, there is nothing wrong with you. At first we blame the boring nights to adjusting to a new place, but once old friends start to call less often and time passes by, we start to wonder if we're doing something wrong. Chances are you're not, it's just freaking hard to make friends in our twenties.

Everyone is so busy trying to make the most of every damn moment, that we fail to stop to notice who's being excluded from the fun, whether that's coworkers or college friends. If you are someone who has a core group of friends, consider inviting the person who is always forgotten when the invite is sent out.

Two, don't force yourself to spend time with people who aren't your people. What do I mean by your people? Basically this, if they aren't the type you'd hang out with when in your normal environment, whether that's home or college, then don't settle for anything less than authentic relationships.



For so long I spent time with people who I lacked interest in, and vice versa. You know what I got out of all those hours? Absolutely nothing. If anything, I would have had more fun at home by myself. Spend time with people who better you, challenge you, and leave you looking forward to the next time.

Three, make the jump to putting yourself out there. Listen girl, I get it, meeting people is hard. In my opinion, dating is easier because at least you can make yourself feel better by saying they weren't good enough anyways, but friendships are so much more complicated.

I'm currently writing a full post on three ways to make friends in the city, but if you need help now, reach out to me. I'm currently debating writing an ebook on how to navigate making authentic friendships online, so if that's something you'd be interested in, comment below!

No matter what, remember that you are never truly alone. Your longtime friends will always be there for you as long as you're willing to tell them what you're going through. Plus with social media, you can always connect with me via Facebook or Instagram for any advice or support you may need. Really though, don't be afraid to reach out to me if you're going through a rough time. The best place to reach me is through Instagram DMs, but my email is always open as well.