How Chasing Your Dreams Affects Your Friendships

Although I don't write much on the topic of friendships, making and maintaining friendships is a topic that is almost always on my mind, agenda, and to do list. Why, you may ask? Well, I left everything and everyone I knew to live, work and study in Washington DC. Meaning that one decision meant I was in a new place with absolutely no friends to call on.

I've written about my story a bazillion times on here, so I today I quickly want to share one that was told to me recently.

Relates Posts: My Life After 1 Year in a New City, 2 Years in a New City Follow Up

If you've ever noticed, I have a contact button on the top of my menu bar. On that page you will find a photo of my adorable cat, Max, and my personal email address. Yep, the very one that Papa Johns sends my order confirmation emails to. I have that there for two reason. 1) Hell yes I want to work with companies, but mostly 2) I want to connect with all of you. Meaning if you have a question, email me. If you need advice, email me! If you read something and it made no sense and you wanna get a better explanation, email me!

And that's exactly what someone did. She read a few posts of mine, connected in her own way, and took the chance to email me for more advice. What exactly did she need advice on? Only the thing that many of us at some point in time will relate to.

20 Summer Date Night Ideas Under $20

As I sat down to write this I instantly titled the post, '20 Spring Date Ideas." Then I remembered spring was almost over and I just hadn't noticed because the weather in Washington DC has been terrible. 

With summer coming, it's leaves a lot of us either wanting to go outside completely (totally understandable) or wanting to enjoy every bit of sunshine while it lasts. As someone who lives her life like she only has $20 in her bank account, I thought I'd put together a list of summer date ideas that won't empty out your wallet or leave you wanting to run back into the nearest air conditioned building. 

1. Outdoor movie

If you're looking for a fun date idea you can only do for the season, outdoor movies are the perfect option and free a lot of the time. All you need are some snacks and something to sit on!

2. Learn a new water sport

For couples who don't mind trying something new on date night, learning a water sport is an option to both spend a few hours having fun and spend little money. To save even more money, rent the equipment instead of buying it. 

3. Host a garage sale
Need an afternoon date idea? How about a date that will make you money? If so, having a garage sale will help you pass the time together and earn some extra money for your next date night. 

Dealing with Rejection From Female Friends in Your Twenties

This is such a weird post to write, but I think it's a topic a lot of twenty something women deal with but don't talk about. Maybe guys deal with it to, but I sincerely believe making and maintaining female friendships is a lot harder than keeping male ones. I mean, there has to be a reason why all my longtime friends are mostly males.

Here's the back story to how this all came into my mind. It's Sunday night and I'm scrolling through my Facebook. I'm not looking for anything specific, just waiting for my boyfriend to finish getting ready for bed so I can shut off the lights. While I'm scrolling I see that one of my Facebook friends uploaded a bunch of pictures, most of them of her and another mutual friend of mine.

When I use the word friend, I don't mean it in the way I refer to it usually. Sure her and I have had some good times, but we're more friends on the surface. Both the friend who uploaded the photos and the other friend featured in the photos. Is this still making sense? Neither are my best friends, but we have all spent time together and individually.

Join a Free Community of 20 Somethings Online

After moving to Washington DC with nothing more than a suitcase and a cactus, I quickly realized how important it is to have a community around you, whether it be in real life or online. For my first year and half in the city I survived off the support of my friends back home and online, and they are honestly the reason why I had the opportunity to be where I am today.

Social media may be our life, but it has never been an accurate reflection of our lives. My goal both in my blog and in real life is to connect women so that they can receive the support and encouragement they’re lacking in real life, on one of the platforms that leaves so many of us scrolling in envy.

What did I create? A Facebook group for twenty somethings like you and me, from all over the world, to address all the stuff we love and hate on a daily basis.

Buzzfeed quiz results. Second opinions on resumes. Relationship advice. College and post grad problems. Rants about friends who don’t fully get our dreams and support from those who are on the same path.

#SurvivingOur20s is no longer a hashtag you can only use on Instagram, even though I love seeing all of your gorgeous photos. #SurvivingOur20s is the name of the new online community where you can connect with other confused millennials who are trying to make the best of what has been called the defining decade.

The group is still brand spanking new, which means all new members will have an impact on what our focus is, what the group evolves into, and how beneficial it can become.

If you are interested in joining a group of likeminded millennial women, click here to join our free Facebook group today.

Things to know:

• The group is private, so anyone outside the group cannot see what’s going on inside
• There will be discussions/resources shared by me, but you can ALWAYS start a new conversation
• No hate allowed, which means you can be 100% yourself with the guarantee that I will have your back

Click here to request to join today.

I cant wait to connect with you inside, and if you love it, feel free to share the link with other women who you feel would love it too.

xx Rubi

Petty Reasons I Wish I Could Break Up with Someone Over

I've said it a million times and I'll say it again, breakups are hard. Ever since becoming a therapist I've learned all the different ways people deal with the end of a relationship, apparently everyone doesn't lay on the kitchen floor and eat popcorn from sunrise to sunset.

Over the years I've written a lot on relationships, specifically when they end. I like to say that coping with breakups is something I should be certified in, because I have more than enough experience to help everyone get through the stages of a breakup.

If you've been on this blog for a little while or found me way before this website ever existed, you might know that my claim to fame is a post I wrote that went viral on how to get over a breakup. I wrote the post in the middle of the night in tears, classic me, and somehow people connected with it. To this day the post is still on the first page of Google results when you're looking for ways to get over a guy, and that's how my love for writing really began.

Not all breakups are bad though, I think we all have that one relationship that we were relieved finally ended. The other day I was in the middle of an argument with my boyfriend, one of those ridiculous ones where no one is genuinely mad, fussy would be a better description. In that moment I wanted to leave and never come back, and that's how this post came to be. Below are my relationship deal breakers, that is if I was as petty as I wish I could be.

Self Care Tips from My Cat, Max

Does anyone else enter a three day weekend super excited for all the possibilities that an extra day can bring? Then wham! You realize that extra day or not, you rather sit on the couch and use all that time to scroll on your phone and catch up on your shows.

Three day weekends come with a ton of pressure for me, especially living in Washington DC. Living in the city means there's always something going on, especially around holidays like Memorial Day. My weekends typically start off with ambitious intentions, but by Saturday afternoon I accept the fact that an extra day doesn't make me wanna be a couch potato any less.

If three day weekends or major holidays give you that same feeling of anxiety due to fear of missing out, then I've got the solution for you.

Pet Magasin was kind enough to provide the cat hammock to me for review. Unreliable reviews suck, which is why I (or Max) would never recommend anything we didn't actually use or enjoy. 

Meet Max, he's my adorable cat, who gives me the side eye every time my boyfriend and I argue about what we're going to do today. Here's the thing, Max has no sense of time, or three day weekends, or feeling of having to do fun activities because that's what all the cool cats are doing. His chill as hell attitude is what we should all strive for during the weekends, especially because his life is one long self care routine.

If you need to chill out for a second, keep reading to see how Max manages to enjoy every moment, inspiring my boyfriend and I to emulate his self care practices.

20 Ways to Save Money This Week

Saving money doesn't have to be hard or mean you can't enjoy your life. After quitting my well paying job to finish my masters, I learned that the only way it was going to work was by cutting back on things I didn't need and saving money on the things I did.

If you're trying to cut your budget or save a little extra money, below are twenty ways to save money that won't take away from how you spend your time or how much fun you have doing the things you love. For more ideas on how to save money on a daily basis, click here for more posts!

1. Buy generic
This one seems obvious, but whether it's food or househould items, generic is typically the same and works/tastes just as good.

2. Don't buy lunch
If you work a 9-5 job, then you know how expensive lunch can get. Skip the extra cost and pack a lunch, with the savings being more than half of being it daily.

3. Shop through Ebates

If you haven't heard of Ebates, where have you been? All you have to do is visit Ebates.com, click the online retailer you wanna shop on, and then just shop! It's that simple. Every three months you get a check with the amount of savings you've accumulated, no coupon codes or extra work required. Plus, if you sign up through this link, you get a free $10 just for joining.

4. Only shop at thrift stores
Spend a little time finding the best ones in your area, then make a pledge to only buy used clothing until you've reached your financial goal. Once you find the one perfect piece, you'll be hooked.

How to Stay Healthy If You Hate Working Out

You guys, I tried, I really did. Here's the thing, in the past thirty days I seriously learned what my obstacles are, where I continuously fail myself, and how others manage to get past all these excuses.

Okay, it doesn't help that I'm drinking a Coke as I write this, but in my defense I woke up at 7am today to go volunteer at a soup kitchen. Also, I have a paper due tonight. Oh, and I'm totally just making a million excuses because there's no damn reason I should be drinking a Coke right now.

That's step one of living a healthier life, calling out your own bullshit. If you're like me and look for a million and one reasons for why you can't get a workout in or say no to those french fries, keep reading to learn how other's get past all these mental roadblocks.

You might also like: 10 Best Apps for Your Health and Exercise Goals

Call yourself out

Like I mentioned earlier, you need to be able to know the difference between actual obstacles and straight up excuses. For example, on Wednesdays I work from 9am to 6pm, then have class from 7-10pm. Sure I could wake up early or stay up late to exercise, but on days like that I need the extra sleep. Me not working out on a weekend? That's just me coming up with an excuse for why I don't have the time.

Every time you skip a workout or opt to eat an unhealthy meal, write down why you made the decision. This way you can look back and see what your patterns are, where you can improve, and in which instances you're just looking for the easy way out.