Boy are so fucking dumb. Yeah, I said it. I honestly think they are the more stupid of the two sexes. I mean seriously, how many of us know a guy (or even dated a guy) who got caught doing something and still has the nerve to act as if you've blindsided him with new information? Okay, rant over. This is what happened to spark the creation of this post. Buckle up, ladies.
As I stood at the bus stop waiting for what I hoped would be the express bus, my phone lit up with an Instagram notification. See, just fifteen minutes prior I had posted a photo of me watching Hocus Pocus to celebrate the end of one of the most grueling classes I've ever taken. Actually here's the photo, and since you're already browsing, it would be cool if you followed me too. No pressure. Please follow me, moving on!
Anyways, as I scrolled through my notifications I saw a username of a certain someone who is no friend of mine. My goddamn ex boyfriend! You know the one. The guy who dumped me on New Years, was already searching for someone new before we were over, and has followed and unfollowed me in a ploy to get my attention. Here's the thing though, he unfollowed me officially the day I posted a photo of my new man friend, since then flaunting his newest girlfriend of the month. Regardless, I've never blocked him, simply because I like knowing he can see how much better I am without him. But after last night, I think I found my reason to finally shut him out
Related Post: 10 Things That Happened the Day I Realized I Didn't Love You Anymore.
If you're not sure whether or not you should unfriend an ex on social media, or go a step further and just block them, keep reading to see what you should do before you post another status update.
1. You can no longer stalk them.
The obvious reason that all your friends point out to you, blocking them means you can't constantly check up on them anymore. The first few days are rough, but I promise if you stick to it you'll stop wanting to much more quickly than if you hadn't.2. They can no longer stalk you.
Why is there this widespread belief that boys don't also check your posts late at night? Boys dwell on things too! By blocking him you're taking away his ability to see where you're checking in and who you're with.3. You can't spend time stalking the people they're spending time with.
Let's be honest with each other for a moment, we've all had those nights where we take our investigations a little too far. One second we're searching our ex, then his best friend, then his best friend's cute female cousin who is in town and just might be out with them! Prevent yourself from falling into this rabbit hole by taking away your access to all of it.Related Post: 100 Things to Do Instead of Calling Your Ex Boyfriend
4. You never feel good after doing it anyways.
Raise your hand if you ever felt good when stalking your ex after a break up? (all hands stay firmly down) Post break up is the worst time to cyberstalk an ex, and also the time you're most likely to do it! By deleting them you take away the option and the feelings that come along with seeing something you didn't like.5. Allows you more time to work on yourself (save time instead of stalking)
Every minute you don't spend obsessing over them is a minute you could spend doing something you're truly passionate about. Everyone has that one thing they've always wanted to do but never take the initiative to try. For me, it's always been writing. Figure out what your passion is and every time you get an urge to check up on an ex, take a step towards fulfilling that goal.6. You'll spend less time comparing your lives.
Let's not lie here, anyone who doesn't block their ex on social media spend a little too much time thinking about what to post so that they look like they're living every day to the fullest. Avoid filling your feed with false projections of how you really feel and comparing your day to day activities to your ex. The less you know, the better, cause you cant live every day like it's the weekend.7. Less temptation to want to talk to them.
Can I get a round of applause for never contacting my ex after the day we broke up? Like really though, this is how I know I've matured. But you know what helped so much? Having zero contact, zero interaction, and zero temptation. Before I was all about staying friends and keeping in touch, but this time around I was all about that out of sight out of mind mindset. And guys, it worked!Related Post: How to Deal with Exes on Social Media
8. Give yourself the option of a clean break.
I've been so guilty of doing the on and off relationship thing with boys, and each time it never works. By pushing your ex out of your life, but in real life and online, you allow yourself the time and energy to move on. You just cant move on when they still clog up space in your mind every day, at least not as easily as you could potentially without those daily reminders.Bonus tip: Makes them think about what you could be doing.
You know what feels really good? Unfollowing an ex on social media and knowing they still keep tabs on what you're up to. I have an ex boyfriend who to this day still likes my Instagram picture, even though he's unfollowed me multiple times! Who knew that all I needed to do what ignore him for him to give a shit about my daily life? So if you wanna pull a Samantha and win your break up, you can skip blocking them and just unfollow and unfriend. This way they can still see all that you're up to without the need for you to see any of their fuzzy, badly filtered posts. I mean, I'm just saying, boys suck at Instagram.So tell me, what do you do once a relationship is over? Try to save the friendship you once had or quickly find the block button? Share your experiences in the comments below!
You should really change the name of this blog to "When life gives you Christian". Writing about your ex all the time really shows you're over him... Also, you forgot to mention blocking every one of his friends on social media. Because you know, that's mature and all.
ReplyDelete1. It really warms my heart that you read my content often enough that you catch it the day it's published. Thanks for putting food on my table.
Delete2. I've been writing about relationships (plus career, college and millennial issues) long before I met you basket of deplorables. Google me :)
3. If you're genuinely upset by me blocking you, please DM me. I'd be happy to accept your follow request.
1. A friend sent it to me, but we do keep tabs on it periodically bc it's so funny
ReplyDelete2. Basket of deplorables? #imwithher
3. I'll let his next girlfriend of the month slide into your DMs. Considering we've been together since he left your ass on the sidewalk basically, it's totally nothing serious at all
-girlfriend of the month
I'm a weirdo and I try to be friendly with all my ex-boyfriends. Admittingly, none of them have been 'official' but I have been with them for a significant amount of time or gone through significant stuff with them. I am all for a clean break though (when it's needed). I generally just ban myself from all social media until I feel like I can control myself on all my media channels!
ReplyDeleteI just found out the my ex's current girlfriend has stalked all my social media channels, including the waaaaaay back posts of my blog. It is insane! I think she's a bit nuts, but I'm happy if my ex is happy, so I'm just keeping my mouth shut. (For now). Haha.
Not a weirdo at all, I'm still friends with multiple people I dated! Not best of friends but we can catch up for lunch without any weirdness at least. And yeahhhh, as you probably saw by the comment above I have a little of that going on myself, it's a bit odd but I guess some people have trouble with focusing on their own lives :)
DeleteI remember the day when I stalked my ex bf. Bf as in best friend. That fucker. He moved on. In fact he was so unfazed that he and his little asian lesbian counterpart got beers and played buck hunter all night. What a bitch. Girl, I know your pain.
ReplyDelete"it's a bit odd but I guess some people have trouble with focusing on their own lives :)"
ReplyDeleteit's comical how hypocritical you are. Please, keep it coming. I love good entertainment!
X reasons why you’re an absolute hypocrite
ReplyDeleteSo...you’re writing about how he’s not in your life and doesn’t affect you anymore, yet you continuously write posts about him. And as far as the “girlfriend of the month” comment is concerned, like I said, I’ve been with him since he left you so it’s been many months.
Your blog is so hilarious in it’s hypocrisy. You gloat about being a twenty-something who has moved on from such a bad relationship with a guy you dont care about, yet you turn every blog post into an excuse to talk about him. “8 reasons to get a pet” somehow morphs into how pets make you forget about your ex...really unrelated, really pathetic. Anyways.
You say that you think it’s odd that people can’t focus on their own lives...darling, you’re making a point to bring up other people’s lives in your posts. You dont know me, you don’t know Christian anymore yet you decide to blog about him predominantly, then brought me in me once. Focus on your own life babe, don’t blog about the time my friend accidentally liked your Hocus Pocus insta while we were laughing about “When life gives you Christian”
And as far as your comment as that he’s liked your shit before...he scrolls through insta and likes everything. So maybe to your credit you have really pretty instagram pics but I wouldn’t know since you blocked me and my best friend from high school who you’ve never met...ever. So who’s the crazy bitch now??
You can keep sitting on your high horse but just know that you really need to reread your own words and realize the very thing you accuse people of is something you are very much guilty of as well.
-Kelly
Honey, you're the only one looking like a crazy bitch. Sorry. #imwithrubi
DeleteOne, love your blog! Two, I can totally relate. I have yet to block my ex but he tends to like my stuff and try to get my attention. The block button might be my new best friend.
ReplyDeletewww.hello-brittnee.com
oh geez, as long as it doesn't take up too much space in your mind I'm all for leaving things as they are, but yes, I'll block anyone who requires too much attention
DeleteI like how the new girl keeps coming back to comment, despite your lack of replies, yet calls YOU obsessed and hypocritical.
ReplyDeletePot, meet kettle. If this Christian guy is so wonderful, new girl, why are you wasting your time on his ex? Be happy for your own life. Forget she exists. Unless he's still got a thing for her and that makes you jealous.
Or, you know, continue stalking her and giving her page views, which equal money. Whatever.
By the way, I like how you knew she blocked your friend, which confirms you're using your friends' accounts to continue stalking her after she blocked you. But you totally don't care about her aa all.
Wow that anonymous needs a life. Especially if it's the new girlfriend. Shouldn't she be happy that her and her boyfriend are together now, rather than stalking and commenting on an ex's blog? Ridiculous and immature.
ReplyDeleteAnyways! I'm totally for blocking. I would like to think that we can all be fine and dandy and most of the time it can't work that way. I tried to be "friendly" with my ex and he took that as an excuse to get back into my good graces which was never going to happen. I'm totally for blocking them on FB. Luckily I haven't had an ex be on instagram since I keep that public...so idk how I'd go about that. Also blocking friends or at least unfriending his friends/mutual friends is a good idea too. I found my ex stalking me through his friend's facebook and even texting me through his friend's number. You're moving in the right direction, girlfriend!
It's been an interesting week :)
DeleteBut yes to all your points, especially deleting/blocking mutual friends. If I have no real relationship with them I think it just makes for a cleaner break and avoids any awkwardness later (in most cases lol).
I guess you wouldn't know what its like to 'stalk' someone from a friends account since you don't have any.
ReplyDeleteOmg! For crying out loud! Can this Anonymous person can go get a fucking life!? I bet it's that Kelly chick snooping. Any how, what I find more interesting and confusing is.. shouldn't the current gf be doing all the blocking? and the ex all the stalking? Clearly this dude has not gotten over you! And that is why this person is angry.
ReplyDeleteI love that you mentioned point #2. It seems like most sources or people make it all about you needing to keep yourself from seeing your ex's stuff or from tempting yourself to stalk, but sometimes that's not the case! From my own experience, I have some good discipline in that area and don't get carried away with the social media stalking. I also don't follow any exes online who didn't transition into friendships. But I think it's important to point out that sometimes blocking/unfollowing/unfriending etc. can be about removing the access that the ex has to YOU. Maybe it means nothing for them to "check-in" like that, but it can still be distracting when you're just trying to live your life and shove on. It's mad annoying to notice that an ex still kind of hovers around your life, especially in a case they pushed you away in the first place. Again, speaking from experience! I just had to block an "ex" (quotations because it was never official haha) for the first time, because he would stalk my page and act like my friend behind the scenes, but then in public or whenever he got a new girlfriend he would pretend that I didn't exist. It became too confusing and painful, so I decided to block him from seeing my stuff. Don't make no sense for someone to be in your face when no one is looking or when they're in-between relationships, but then ignore you in-person. Set your boundaries with no remorse, y'all!
ReplyDelete