When you want to be a grown adult and not block someone simply because the love died, how do you navigate seeing their post updates and knowing they can see yours. Moving past obsessing over what they post is what most focus on during a break up, but what do you do when they cross the line of silently lurking and into commenting territory. And no, not simple ones like "lol" or "cool." I'm talking sarcastic remarks that once were funny but now just serve the purpose of forcing thoughts of him into your mind.
How do you continue to be the bigger person when the restless teen inside you want to reply, "bitch, I will cut you." Luckily, I have experience in this department, I could lead this department, so let's figure this one out together.
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You can choose to go one of two ways: continue following him or unfollow.
If you choose to continue following him know that you will still see all his status updates, including selfies at his favorite bar and comments left by his new bae. If you're strong enough to deal with this, more power to you!
Unfollowing him ensures that you cant see all his status updates, as long as he doesn't have his accounts set to public. Cause we both know you will search him late one night whether you follow him or not. If his profiles are private, this is an easy way to make sure you don't spend time stalking his every move and analyzing his posts.
If his presence online really bothers you, and I've been there, you can also go the extra step and block him. Blocking him means you probably already unfriended/unfollowed him, but if you haven't this means that by default you will be both blocking and unfollowing/unfriending. Is this all making sense?
When you block someone they no longer exist on your social media sphere, meaning not only will you not be able to see their account at all, they can also no longer see you. If they are tagged in photos by a mutual friend, that tag will lead you to a dead end page. Not gonna lie, nothing feels better than blocking someone. So if you're angry or dealing with an ex who always wants to come running back, this might be your best option.
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People always forget to mention all the stuff that is left behind after a relationship, and I'm not talking about the forgotten hoodies and favorite CDs. Photographs, videos, and comments from when you two were at your happiest are still up on display for the world to see. This is where things get difficult, no matter how you feel after a break up.
Post break up you need to decide if you fall into the team of not removing old posts and photos, or do a clean sweep of all your social media accounts. Personally, my decisions depends on the type of break up we had, whether it was amicable, and whether or not I feel the urge to punch them in the face.
I haven't deleted all the photos from my last relationship simply because doing so would take out such a large chunk of the memories I made over the past year or more. Since our lives were so intertwined, deleting it all would mean I would lose posts I shared on Christmas, birthdays and other big milestones. But 2012 version of me was all about deleting old boyfriends once a breakup happened, but I also posted a lot more often and had a lot less really going on at that time in my life.
How you choose to deal with an ex online is up to you, my overall advice is to do what makes you recover faster and easier. I've learned that guys are so much less bothered by this, which was proven when I visited my now ex's apartment and still found all of our photos covering his fridge, weeks after we had broken up! You're not petty for starting with a clean slate and you're not holding onto things by continuing like nothing happened, so do what's best for you. And also, screw that guy.
What do you do after a break up, delete all old posts and quickly unfriend them or continue living like nothing happened?
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I unfriend always. I don't feel like stalking them or having them stalk me. It's not healthy. Later on, I think you can re-add them if you are both completely 100% over it, but there's no point in following them still right after a break up unless you want to rub salt in the wound.
ReplyDeleteLuckily most of my bad break ups were before the days of tons of social media. Though I will admit I occasionally search exes just because I'm curious of what's going on with them ha. But I don't leave any weird comments, so I swear I'm not a stalker ex haha.
ReplyDelete