How to Deal With Negative People In 5 Steps

About five years ago I made a conscious effort to spend less time following the details of celebrity lives and focus more on enjoying my own. At that time my roommates and I would pass hours on the couch with the Kardashians, spend our money on tabloids full of lies and wonder how they could pull of always being on their way somewhere. Right around that time was when I was preparing to start my application process to study abroad, which ultimately led to me being more committed to enjoying every moment of my day rather than trying to figure out what a celebrity was doing with theirs.

I'm not perfect though and I do have my moments of wanting to stay in the loop, and thanks to websites like Buzzfeed I no longer have to buy People magazine to get my celebrity news. As a big fan of Taylor Swift I do my best to keep up with her life without losing any time of my own, which is why her speech at this year's Grammys hit a chord with me.

As someone who understands why she reacts the way she does regarding the words people say about her, I was beyond proud when she used that historic moment to address the controversy surrounding this weekend with class. I sat in bed prepared to hear her thank her fans and family. What I got instead was a glimpse of the woman we've always wanted to see, someone who could put on a smile, throw a punch back, yet still walk away with everyone on her side. 

While the drama in my life isn't as big of deal as that of Taylor Swift's, I like many young women can relate with having to deal with negative people in my life. Whether partners, friends or strangers, everyone starts to gain an opinion about your decisions once good things start happening. Taking a note from Taylor's book I've decided to stay away from my normal method of dealing with haters (which usually consists of  pushing them back into their lane) and instead focus my efforts in a more positive way.

1. Say goodbye.

Step one needs to be separating yourself from the negative person. This may be difficult if the negativity is coming from a partner or good friend, but if they are unwilling to change the way they interact there is little you can do to make the situation better. Choosing to not spend time or communicate with them may be the signal they need to help them realize how their attitude is affecting your relationship. 

2. Set your boundaries. 

Everyone has different opinions on this and those opinions usually differ depending on who they're talking about, so don't feel any sort of way if you find yourself disagreeing with yourself. After you've said goodbye and physically separate yourself from the negative person you need to decide whether you want to continue to stay connected through social media.

Nowadays we all post daily life updates and accomplishments across social media, which is great, as long as the people you connect with are genuinely happy for you. Personally, I never block a negative person on social media simply because I like for them to see all that I'm accomplishing despite their opinions. If keeping up to date with their life is too painful though or if they continue to reach out to you through social media, cutting that line of communication may be beneficial.

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3. Stop analyzing everything. 

How many of us still shower while thinking of comebacks to arguments we had back in the 7th grade? (raises hand) Even though I am all for stepping back from a relationship and taking some time to talk it out, constantly analyzing why someone said or did they things they did is not always beneficial to you. Chances are a negative person is bringing you down for reasons that have to do with them, so leave figuring out why it's happening to them, cause that's not your issue. 

4. Surround yourself with positive people. 

Every time you kick someone out of your life you should pull another person in closer. My friends have helped me get through all my hardest moments, from cross country moves to more heartbreaks that I'm proud to admit. Don't spend all your time thinking about one negative person when you have a community of positive people wishing you nothing but the best. Reach out to friends, new and old, to get you through this difficult phase. 

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5. Focus your energy.

I'ma firm believer in channeling your energy and time into a new project whenever you let someone go. My love for blogging actually grew during a time when I had recently been dumped and I needed something to do to keep myself busy. Use all your new found time and energy to start something new, whether that be a hobby, friendship or goal. Having something to works towards every day will give you purpose during those moments when you will inevitably want to cave in and reach out to the person you set out to remove from your life. 

Have you ever had to deal with a negative person in your life? What did you do to help make the situation better?