Things My Cat Has No Respect For

Adopting a cat is the best decision I made in 2014. Forget the fact I accepted an offer to attend grad school or that I moved across the country, bringing home Max hands down is the moment I am most proud of last year. With that in mind, he can be kind of a jerk sometimes.

My cat isn't the typical cat, meaning he's always been more dog like since the day I brought him home. Max insists on following me everywhere, isn't afraid to be vocal when he wants something, and is pretty social when meeting someone for the first time. But unlike most cats, he could really care less about the rules of the house. Or just the fact that I rather not have dirt all over my freshly mopped floors. There are a lot of things Max claims to have no time for, but here are a few he consistently has no respect for. 

The bathroom being a private space. 

From the day I brought him home he would cry and meow until I let him come inside and watch me pee. The problem only grew worse when he insisted he also needed to stand guard and make sure I made it out of the shower okay. I don't know where he learned these weird habits, luckily he has given up his shower guard duty. But don't worry, he will be waiting outside the door to make sure everything turned out okay. 

Any plant with leaves. 

Maybe I should have learned my lesson by now but I just can't resist buying a pretty new house plant every once in a while. While the rest of us see leaves, Max sees a snarky green monster who needs to be destroyed as soon as possible. He doesn't just stop at knocking a plant over, he finds joy in dragging the corpse plant all around the apartment then rolling in the dirt.

That the bed is a shared space. 

When I first adopted Max I was single, meaning I opted to buy a full sized bed to perfectly fit me and my cat. While he was sometimes a bit of a hog, we coexisted peacefully. That was until my boyfriend showed up and took up space, a lot of it. Nowadays Max is in a constant tug of war, with him wanting his claimed corner at the bottom of the bed and our feet consistently accidentally kicking him off at night. No matter how many times one of us rolls onto him he never gives up, refusing to sleep no where except beside me on the bed. 

The rug I bought on sale.

For almost a year Max and I lived in a family home that had wooden floors throughout. With my hate for vacuuming I avoided buying a rug until I moved into my new apartment recently, with hideous dark wood floors that needed to be covered quickly. It was then that Max realized how amazingly fun it is to claw at the fibers of carpet, and it hasn't yet lost it's allure two months later. I try to not yell at him too much about it, I figure him scratching his nails on something is as satisfying as me cracking my knuckles. And how are you gonna deny someone the pleasure of cracking their knuckles?!

The fact that my phone is ringing.
I don't know if this weird trait is special to just my cat or all cats, but Max has this weird tendency to want to sit directly on top of my phone. I like to believe it's because he sees how much time I spend on it and it's his way of saying, "hey, pay attention to me instead," but most likely it's just warm and he wants to inconvenience me. Usually I don't mind, but as soon as my phone starts to ring it's like his body suction cups to the bed and there's no chance I'll be returning that call anytime soon.

The five second rule. 
I get that cats are capable of killing animals in the wild and eating raw meat and all that, which is fine by me, but my cat sees every dropped piece of food as a personal challenge. Just like a dog he stands around while I cook dinner, waiting for me to make a mistake. He doesn't care that the floor hasn't been mopped in weeks and that piece of chicken bounced off every dusty drawer before it hit the ground, he will gladly pounce at it like me end of season sale. 

Do you have a furry family member who refuses to do as it's told? Or am I alone in having adopted an animal who finds personal joy in hiding my socks? Let me know what rules your pets could care less about in the comment section below!

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